For Parents…….

I was puzzled either to write this controversial issue on wordpress or not but then decided to write it. I am not sure that i may be able to express what i want to and how many of you will try to understand this. I request that when you start reading, then consider yourself as a parent to a daughter even if you are not married or in an early age. Also, when you or anyone will read these below lines and think during my life or after would might consider it an assumption, very important and some may not give it any single importance.

This issue on which i will write below is very important for the parents of girls in Pakistan and India even i consider it important for all the parents in the world. One day, you and i will become parent of daughters.

I start by putting up an example in a form of question to Parents:

Just consider that you are a farmer and God has gifted you a fruit (orange or apple etc). This fruit is highly important for you because after a hard work, you got this (fruit). You protect this fruit from everyone 24 hours in a day so that no body can get near to it nor can touch uptil its sale. The reason is that if this fruit is being touched or used by anyone (who don’t have the right to touch) before selling to the right consumer, not only fruit will be destroyed but also it would ruin your efforts, honor as well as destruct you psychologically and physically too (because of strong affiliation with this fruit). Now, suppose you give this fruit to someone for specific hours in a day with a high trust in him that he will take care of this fruit as you do and return it back in the same position. However, someone not only touch it but get some juice from this fruit and neither you know it nor the person whom you trusted to take care of this fruit for certain hours. It was a duty of that person to take care of your fruit but he showed negligence and fruit was being used and took out its main juice. Also, it was your negligence that why you didn’t checked that the person whom you trusted is properly protecting it or not.

In Pakistan and India, protection of this fruit is considered as highly important then rest of the world. In simple words,

Parents are the farmers and daughters are their fruits and the person whom parents trust is either school/colleges or Universities. In school / colleges / universities, Principals / Vice Chancellors / Deans / Administration are responsible for the protection of fruit i.e. girls /  daughters.”

But in some of the schools and universities majorly include high class ones, this  fruit is not been protected as the parents want and due to the negligence of administration as well as negligence of parents too, this fruit loose its value which is been required by the nature and instructed by God.

Pakistani or Indian society is different then that of USA or Europe. In
USA or Europe, having a boyfriend is not considered as a problem in any means and most girls loose honor in their teen age. May be even the parents at Europe or USA had faced similar situations when they were young and know it very well and some do not. Even then no parent in the world want that her daughter loose out honor before getting married.

Pakistani & Indian society is very cautious and conservative for this matter. Not only societal rules are extremely strong but also religious rules are more strict even then that of the societal rules for this subject i.e. either you are Muslim, Hindu, Christian or belong to any religion. Also, rules are somewhat relax in large urban cities then in small cities or rural areas up-til you have a boy friend but neither boy friend is allowed to touch the girl and still none of the parent want that her girl loose out honor before getting married. Even if parents are liberal and ready to marry their daughter with the person of her choice but still they wont allow her girl to enter into certain sexual relationship before marriage.

Purity of a girl is an important aspect in Pakistani & Indian Society before getting marriage. Purity means that she has never entered into any sexual relationship with a guy before marriage and even no one touched her in any means

But, i think that purity has started getting less since last 10 to 15 years or so most importantly in elite class where children’s go to elite schools or universities where boundaries between boy and girl friendship are rare or less (Please note that I am not at all blaming all persons ). This is due to the less check and balance by the parents on the daughters that what they are doing and where they are?..

Have you thought that why it is necessary for the parents to put strong check and balance over their daughters…Why…Why not they let them free in the entire world like their sons to do anything or go anywhere??

Please consider the following questions;

  • Have you ever thought either you live in Pakistan, India or any part of the world that why parents protect their daughters ?…
  • If you wont protect your daughters or do not maintain check over them and if you let them free to go any where or do any thing then what will happen ?…
  • Why the parents themselves always pick and drop their daughters in school / colleges / universities/ at the houses of their friends / dinners etc??…..
  • Why the protection is necessary only for the daughters but not for the male children’s? …
  • In the name of protection or care of daughters what is being protected by the parents ?….
  • Why parents or elders of the house or siblings are so cautious for their daughters / sisters ??…
  • What is a necessary thing for the females in this whole world??…
  • Is their any difference between a normal girl of our society / house and the girl who sell her body for money i.e. called and remembered with bad words?

The answer in my point of view and even in yours is that Parent in Pakistan / India protect the honor of their girls / daughters that they could not loose out their value or sell their bodies in the name of desire / sex / love like the professional red light area girls do.

The body of these girls is only reserved for the ones who become their husband after marriage and fathers of the children’s she gave birth too. Otherwise, there is no need for parents to maintain check and balance over their daughters or to protect them like body guards. Why not they let them free to do anything. If any one get to know that the girl whom he is getting married to has already lost the honor will never going to marry her. Inclination towards sex is natural among any age especially teen but in Pakistani or Indian society, loosing honor by the girls is considered as sin. Obviously, it has not only been forbidden in religious rules but also no rational society would ever think that their daughters jump into this before getting marriage which is a legal way. Even i consider that parents think the same in USA, Europe or any part of the world but there societal norms are not so strict and even they cannot stop too.

The basic purpose to put up this issue is that boys and girls as a student are using the space of schools / colleges / universities in loosing their honor where the administration of these institutions has been failed to put up check over the students that what they doing in their space or boundaries.

The think which inclined me to write this article was some recent incidents i witnessed and heard. This is happening mainly in high class universities / schools where majorly daughters of some elite class used to study or even the daughters of those middle class families where it is considered as a pride to study (please remember that i am not at all talking about all other educational institutes or all girl’s).

A recent case when a girl in the high class university student age around 19 or 20 (may be) lost honor to her boyfriend in a car at a car parking area. She belonged to a good family and her parents regularly pick and drop her but they wont know that the girl which they are protecting has already lost the significance value / honor and their protection efforts is of no worth. This is happening each day with the other girls too.

It was shocking to see and notice that parents drop and pick their daughters from these high class educational institutes themselves so that they (daughters) could not go with anyone else and do not loose the honor they are protecting but due to un-mature brain and age as well as high inclination towards love and sex…they loose it (not all but many). Parents live in the world of ignorance they have rightly protected their daughters and then they marry them with great pride whereas neither the parents know it nor the male person (husband to hat girl) that his wife is not pure and clean.

One thing that parents are not doing the check over the children’s. Furthermore, the ignorance of school / college / university administration towards checking what students are doing within their area is clearly a dishonesty towards the property handed over to them for specific hours by the parents. I noticed that guards of that elite university know it very well as their servant quarters were very close in proximity to the parking area but they were reluctant to notice what is happening over there.

The question arises what freedom is and what role do the parents play in upbringing the brain of these teens. Then who is responsible if this fruit looses honor before getting married…

Allah Almighty (God) has clearly stated rules in Holy Book “Quran” which is guidance for not only muslims but for all humanity

Surah Noor, verse No: 2 & 3…Allah says…
The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment”

“Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry and but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden”


Now, if you love Allah (God) and value his sayings and rules then you will follow them and save yourself from this activity which is called as sin. Allah (God) is the one who loves each human 70 times more then his/her own mother but to save the society and keep the morals, he has announced punishment for adultery without getting into a marriage with certain reasons. Even if you not believe in that and dont value as non-muslim then even all other religions has also forbidden such act to maintain the society. Teen age is such a age in which you unable to know what is wrong and what is right and it is the parents and elders who have to stop you from committing any sin and maintain the society norms.

If those who commit sin behind curtains think that they are secure and safe and no body have saw them committing sins will surely face the dire consequences on a final judgement day when all you body parts will speak about the activities you did in the world. However, Allah Almighty (God) is the only and most merciful in this whole universe. 

(Above writing is based on my perception, you may agree or not)

About ***** Azfar Abbas *****

My name is Azfar Abbas I am an MPA, a Development Sector Consultant & Operations Management Specialist. Worked with the IBRD (The World Bank), PIFD and international organizations. A Lahoree by birth, Taurian by Star, music freak, a writter, singer and a food lover from Lahore, Pakistan
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