Who so ever ate the fruit of marriage regrets as well as non married too, but in the current days, former one regrets more then the later. I went with my friend to a city marriage dispute settlement court in an early morning as unfortunately I was a witness of his elder sister’s nikah (marriage ceremony). I saw some amazing scenes at the court of law which resembled as it was a fish market. No space was available to stand easily neither in the court room nor outside. Lawyers along with their clients from both sides had surrounded the desk of family court Judge. It was not a one marriage separation case that Mr. Justice was dealing with at one time but more then one and normally he deal with almost 70 to 80 case daily from 9:00 am till 3:00 pm. I wondered how he was listening to the voices of lawyers, witnesses, justice seekers husband or wife’s in such a crowded atmosphere. However, this is a pathetic as well as terribly situation of family courts in Pakistan.
I heard once Mr. Mustanser Hussain Tarar on PTV said;
“As per my experience, more then 70% love marriages ends in divorce and does not last long for 10 years”
But in current days neither love marriages last long nor settled. In Pakistan at least 47% of 1000 married couples every year get separated either in a form of divorce or due to other factors. I had always heard from my elders that sacrifice of desires from both sides especially from female is a guaranteed element for spending the best marriage life. My teacher told me that he saw some miserable situation in a top most school of Lahore for males where almost every second child is disturbed due to the regular quarrel among his parents or due to the separation of them. Even i saw students in my previous professional job experience where they neither performed in their studies nor been able to pay their fees because parents especially father refused to pay their fees or find it difficult to. We have noticed high rate of divorce in upper class or in lower class. It is astounding to see that those couples lived for more then 18 or 22 years of marriage life together and have children s whom are ready to be married are more eager in getting divorce from each other. I know a couple who are also a first cousins, having two kids studying in O levels separated because female didn’t wanted to live in husband’s old house where as male was not ready to leave his parents due to their old age and even female wife took divorced said ” I didn’t liked him since the day of marriage” ahhhhhh sad to note that why did they gave birth to the children s if she didn’t liked her husband/cousin.
Not having a male child was an old issue but the major causes of divorce are others. One factor of separation is a desire for luxuries required by female/wife that her husband should provide even if he doesn’t have such resources, a house in beautiful posh area with luxury car and handsome amount of money with him are necessary if husband want to retain her, otherwise it’s a normal practice to be seen in society especially in middle-upper or upper-middle class that wife leave’s her husband and shift to her maternal home which result’s in a divorce.
Second factor, both sides doesn’t give time to each other when both sides are either doing jobs or business and in many cases involved in outside modes such as parties, dinners, social activities and this is normally happening with a certain class. Another is a charm of external beauty liked by both male & female in other persona around them after marriage.
What are the factors resulting in separation either in a form of divorce or quarrel between husband and wife??.
1) A separate house where parents of husband along with his siblings should not be present, a demand of wife.
2) A regular fight among Mother in law and daughter in law or with sister in law.
3) Wife should not do a job, demand by husband even if wife is a highly literate one.
4) A regular beating by husband educated or illiterate.
5) If male is interested in another female and normally graph is higher for female where female is interested in another male who is either charming or can provide luxuries of life more then her current husband.
6) Ego Ego
7) Wife demand for luxury house in posh area where husband don’t want to shift due to many reasons……
8) Luxuries of life demanded by the female/wife which the husband unable to provide due to his less income.
9) No tolerance rate from both sides
10) Fight over in-house work….Pressure by the family members of male side (Mother in Law, Sister in Law etc) on female/wife to perform all duties as a house wife especially working as a maid/cleaner of house and husband unable to provide help or don’t consider her on human grounds…
etc etc etc
Pakistani Asian husband always desire for a wife as characterized like “Mahira” in drama “Humsafar” telecasted from HUM TV. A strong, soft, mature, loving companion, not egoistic, ready to sacrifice in any situation and can move step by step with him. One of the other desire of men is that her wife should keep his family intact instead of separating him from them especially from parents. Where as, mostly but not all 18 to 38 year old Pakistani women/wife desire for a life full of luxuries, comforts, high standard living mode, rich husband, house in posh area of city etc.
I have always heard from the elders about our eastern society/family that
“Wife/women has to sacrifice to save the family, home & relationship as well as keep them all intact and if she wont do then home will split in 1000 pieces as like as the glass breaks with only one shot”